Quoted from The Star Weekender: Ah, life, art, cliches

This interesting article from The Star Weekender drew my immediate attention. A million thanks to the reviewer, Zeta Lu, in case you all wonder who wrote this article.

Made of Honor
Cast: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan, Sydney Pollack, Kevin McKidd
Director: Paul Weiland

Art imitates art when it comes to romantic comedies, and they sure turn on the cliches and sweet nothings in Made of Honor.

Dear Aunty Agony,

I'm a 5-foot-2, have a good chin, dreamy blue eyes and am blessed with a beautiful head of ruffled hair - the kind that girls love to run their fingers through, and bald men would willingly trade their kidney for. Besides being dashingly handsome, I'm also lucky to have a successful career. I love to show off my fortune and sexy hair by driving around New York in my topless Jaguar E-Type.

On the subject of luck and going topless, I enjoy even better luck with the ladies. Just the other day, a girl left me her number on my coffee cup! I bet her shirt would magically disappear once she runs her fingers through my irresistible mane!

Yes, I admit I have a weakness for women, and women have an even greater weakness for me. No wonder my friends and family call me "The Fornicator." I avoid having any sort of emotional attachment with my conquests though, even to the extent of devising a set of rules that I religiously adhere to (I'll never sleep with a woman two nights in a row).

I guess the failure to tame my manhood and inability to have lasting, meaningful relationship with the opposite sex runs in the family. My father, who incidentally looks like the late actor/director/producer Sydney Pollack, was married six times; almost always to dumb blonde types.

When it comes to women, the only constant in my life is my best friend Julia, whom I haven't slept with. Yet.

She works as a fine-art restorer and is cute as a button. Our relationship can be described as platonic and flirtatious, just like the one Ross and Rachel from Friends had. But now I think I'm deeply in love with her and want her to be my wife. The problem is, she is now engaged to a wealthy alpha male from Scotland and plans to move there. And horror of horrors, she even wants me to be her maid of honor!

My buddies suggest that I put together the perfect wedding and sabotage it later by stealing the bride. Will that work? I'm all confused. What should I do? Please help.

Rupert

*****

Dear Rupert,

Is life imitating art? Or is it art that's imitating life? Your predicament reads exactly like the plot to Made of Honor, the romantic comedy starring Patrick Dempsey and Michelle Monaghan.

And, oh, you are quite the lady killer for a hobbit. I'm impressed.

Now, if you do not wish to face the painful realities of life but long for a fairy-tale solution to your problem, let me suggest that you watch the movie for pointers. If you haven't seen it already, let me warn that Made of Honor is rom-com at its most formulaic.

You know the story: boy meets girl, girl is indifferent to boy, girl and boy connect in contrived fashion, boy falls in love with girl, boy and girl have a major fight, boy and girl make up with a climatic kiss against the backdrop of a key event or scenic location (in this case, a cliche: last minute confessions at the altar when the girl is just about to say, "I do!" to the wrong man).

If you're into all things green, and I'm not talking about The Hulk here, Made of Honor is also an environment-friendly Hollywood product. Firstly, it contains recycled materials: Think Runaway Bride with Dempsey taking the role of Julia Roberts, even right down to pratfalls and eleventh-hour horse ride to the church.

Like Runaway Bride, Made of Honor draws on nuptial preparations in answering an age-old romantic query: Can a man really remain only good friends with a woman?

Secondly, like organically-grown vegetables, the movie is practically non-toxic from start to finish. While there is an absence of clever or original set pieces, both Dempsey and Monaghan have good chemistry, seems comfortable in their roles and are easy on the eye. And credit goes to director Paul Weiland, who manages to capture the Scottish landscape beautifully.

Yes, the movie is a mindless watch, remarkably silly, and never deals with the real complexities of love and relationship, but it really is what the audience and insecure gentlemen like you want. The prince gets the girl in the end - it's the best kind of escape from real life there is.

So Rupert, truth be told, your soul mate is usually not the one you aspire to love; it's the one you make a life with. Give yourself some time to resolve whether your best friend is someone you're really in love with, or someone you have an imaginary spiritual connection with, or simply someone your "member" is itching to get up close and far too personal with.

Failing that, I strongly recommend you gatecrash the wedding on horseback and steal the bride. Good luck!