Modesty & sobriety in dressing

"Sometimes, girls should flaunt their body a bit. Only then, you could attract some guys."

This so-called suggestion came out from the mouth of a guy. I was shocked. Why must I dress up in the way that will attract guys? In my point of view, that suggestion is very, very disgusting. But... I didn't argue back. Why should I waste time playing music to a cow?

Since young, I was taught to dress properly and appropriately, not provokingly. And I'm glad my mum is very strict with my dress code. Also, in the church, the elderly sisters will advise younger sisters like me to dress accordingly in order not to provoke the brothers. Furthermore, I was taught that clothes are meant for protection and covering, not for showing off our body parts.

I think, what guys meant by the phrase 'flaunting your body' is that your cleavage is visible, your skirt hem is so high up (till I don't understand why you wear it if you want to show off), or any other way that will provoke the guys' mind to run wild with imaginations. Yucks! What kind of world is this? The guys are satisfying the lust of their eyes by scouting out girls who dress up like hookers. And the girls are decorating themselves to become materials for the soft porn industry, I guess. Duh!

I don't think many people share my view of dressing properly, appropriately, and accordingly. However, there are materials that support my conservative view from the Internet.

Why care about dressing well?

First, dressing well shows respect for others.

Second, dressing well promotes respect for you. We are not just minds trapped in a skin suit. We are embodied creatures, whole people made in the image of God. We are made to do everything we do with all of us—body, soul, and spirit. We learn best when we take care of ourselves. Taking care of our appearance is part of caring for what God has given us and making the most of it. When we take care to dress well, we promote the same kind of well-being that comes from eating healthy food that tastes good. In an unfallen world, we might not wear clothes, but in the world we do inhabit, we can redeem our embodied existence even through small things like clothes. Making ourselves look good can be an act of worship, as we adorn what He has made and live lives dedicated to His glory.

Third, dressing well is part of being a man. If you dress like a man, you're more likely to be treated like a man. But if you continue to dress like an adolescent, you'll probably be treated accordingly. The goal, then, is to dress well: respectfully and maturely, yet with style.

More about this article.

It is most helpful to see what the Bible says since the Bible is God's Word. Who dare to defy what God says.

1 Timothy 2:9-10
"Similarly, that women adorn themselves in proper clothing with modesty and sobriety, not with braided hair and gold and pearls or costly clothing, but, what befits women professing godly reverence, by good works.

1 Pet. 3:3-4
"Let your adorning not be the outward plaiting of hair and putting on of gold or clothing with garments, but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptible adornment of a meek and quiet spirit, which is very costly in the sight of God."

Below are excerpts from an article I took from neednotfret.com:

Your clothes, like the words out of your mouth, will almost always be an expression of what's going on in your heart. If your heart is pure, as you submit to Christ, then your dress and speech will also be Christ centered.

Reject this worldly culture that seeks to undress you in public, to make your body an object a man longs after. Fully embrace all that God wants to be for you in Christ Jesus. Find your worth and significance in God as you worship Him. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Taste and see that He is good - more savory and satisfying than what the world dangles before you.

The morsels the world offers will leave you hungering for more, and, in the end, miserable. Don't adorn your body in such a way that makes it a spectacle for lustful men or in a way that shows off an expensive taste in clothes. Instead, adorn your body so people will not ultimately look at you, but see the glory of Christ as He shines upon you.

Another excerpt:

Immodesty not only damages men, but it hurts women too. When men see women dressed immodestly, men think of them as objects of pleasure. A woman can't dress immodestly, and then be upset when men don't respect her mind and personality. Even if a man wants to think the best about you, if your clothes send another message, he's going to believe what his eyes tell him - "She's cheap and wants sex," or "She's wearing a tight shirt, so she must want me to notice her boobs."

The Bible warns against outward adornments because people inevitably invest too much in the outward person at the neglect of the inner person. Your virtue is far more important than your outward beauty.

Single ladies, if dressing seductively is your way of luring a man, you'll lure a man all right. But he won't be the kind you'll want to marry. If you marry a man you seductively lure to yourself, you'll regret it. Mystique will make the man you want to marry wonder, in a healthy way, what you've got underneath those clothes. And marriage will be his ticket to find out.

If you dress immodestly, it shows that you've forgotten why you're on earth. You are a soldier. Second Corinthians 10:4 says, "We use God's mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the Devil's strongholds." You're in a war for the souls of others. The Bible warns about becoming like the world. James 4:4 says, "You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." If dressing immodestly isn't becoming friends with the world, nothing is.

Exposing what God wants covered shows that you're more of this world than you admit. It takes courage to choose a different path than the godless culture around you. And God expects you to choose the path of modesty.

Dressing modestly won't get you into heaven, but it might help keep some men out of hell. If what you're wearing to church is immodest, it's probably too immodest to wear anywhere else, and vice versa. But this article is about more than how you dress. It's about being a person with a pure heart. Modesty is part of your character and will express itself in how you walk, what you say, what you wear, and how you bend down to pick something up. You can be dressed the right way and still send the message of immodesty by what you say or how you walk. Immodesty (or shall we say, impurity) can even be conveyed by your eyes when you look at someone. Do your part in helping keep men pure and families together. When in doubt about what you're wearing, put on more.

You can dress attractively without being sleazy. But the Bible warns about the trap of outward beauty. If you have to choose between attractive or virtuous, I hope you choose virtue. You will not always have to choose between the two, but sometimes you will. And dressing modestly is asking little from a soldier seeking to wage war on the enemy. Seeing Jesus' smile of approval when you get to heaven will make your sacrifice worth it.

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I decided to blog about this when some colleagues commented that I'm getting prettier these days in terms of dressing up. They thought I'm planning to attract guys. Please laaa... I wear nicely because I need to be presentable and confident with my appearance. When I'm confident with myself, I can attend meetings with my project's clients without feeling inferior and insecure. It has nothing to do with attracting guys from the same company or some other places.

One more thing, if anyone begin to joke about this single guy or that single guy in the company is available and ask whether I'm interested or not, please shut up. I do not need this kind of help. I exist in the company not to become lunch topic. Find something else to talk if you want to. I'm not as sporting as you think I am. There are taboo topics that if you touch, I will really quit from working together.

Thank you very much.