I look to You

This post is dedicated to fellow Christian friends who understood what I'm going through. I've been procrastinating for the past two weeks to write this post because I don't want to give the impression that I'm condemning or will be condemned or judged. So, I'm trying my best to be mild and not defensive. If I do, please forgive me, in love. :)


For the past one month, I've been experiencing certain changes and challenges and I found myself in dilemma. Basically, two points. First, am I making the right decision? Second, am I led by the Lord or am I led by my own uncertainties and emotions? People said, don't analyze or you'll paralyze. But, I need to find answers to my questions. To do that, I need to start somewhere.

I'm not renouncing my faith but I'm heading towards somewhere different from where I have been. When I did this, I knew I'm taking the risk to be shunned. Good thing is, I'm now comfortable with the group of Christians I'm with. Let me put up 2 short points concerning how I'm led to be with them.

1. The Word - as substance and sustenance.

* The first sermon that I attended talked about John 10:1-21 - The Shepherd and His Flock.
* The verse that I enjoyed that week was 1 Peter 2:25: "For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."

* The second sermon really spoke into me. We need to view the church from the point view of God, not according to my personal choice.
* What is the church? It's the house of the living God. Going deeper, the church is also the body and the bride of Christ. These are from Ephesians 5.

* The third sermon is about persecution as a Christian.
* The verse that I enjoyed that week was 1 Cor. 10:13: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

* The fourth sermon is about asking the Lord to disturb us! Biblical base: Luke 5:1-11.
* That week's Friday & Saturday, a few sisters shared with me one point, not together, but at separate occasions. "Joyce, pray and tell the Lord, He's always with you."
* That Sunday itself, these words just hit me right in the core of my being: A personal encounter with Jesus will make you realize how much you want to live for Him!
* It's not about impressing people. Just need to start small, then go deep, then surrender all to the Lord, based on our spiritual growth / journey.


2. The People - as a family and home.

* They are normal human beings with proper jobs and some have families.
* I see the love of Christ, I see brotherly love, I see loving thy neighbors.
* The bonding and togetherness are rather strong. I've started to hangout with them in different activities and they're a cool, fun bunch of people. :)

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At the moment, Whitney Houston's "I Look to You" is a song that describes my feelings.

(Verse 1)
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

(Chorus)
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you

(Verse 2)
After I lose my breath
There's no more fighting left
Thinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door

And every road that I've taken
Led to my regret
And I don't know if I'm gonna make it
Nothing to do but lift my head

(Chorus)
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you

(Bridge)
My love is all broken (oh Lord)
My walls have come (coming down on me)
tumbling down on me (All the rain is falling)

The rain is falling
Defeat is calling (set me free)
I need you to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need you to shine on me

(Chorus)
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong

I look to you
I look to you
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song

I look to you

I look to you...
I look to you...